$ Thanks for loaning me your car! Sorry I wrecked it. Unfortunately I don't have any insurance. I’ll pay you back for the deductible as soon as I find a job. Can I borrow your riding lawnmower?
$ What money?
$ It’s only money.
$ I spent all day last week trying to find you the perfect gift. You’re so hard to buy for! I just know you’re going to love it! But if you don’t, I left the receipt in the gift box in case you’d rather have the cash instead. Just ignore the price. You’re worth every penny! Really?! I’m so glad you like it! OK, my turn. I’m so excited! Oh, look. It’s a $15 gift card to Arby’s. Aw. You remembered that I get hungry sometimes. How thoughtful of you. I guess they have a vegetarian menu now? You’re so sweet. You shouldn’t feel guilty just because I spent more money on you than you did on me. That’s not important. It’s the thought that counts! You’re welcome!
$ Can you lend me some more money?
$ Have you noticed how many more friends we have since we won the lottery?
$ What?! $600?! You only charged Bob $400! WTF?! I thought I was your friend.
$ It’s not about the money.
$ It’s all about the money!
$ Honey! We can't afford to go out for dinner this month. The boss's triplets are selling Girl Scout Cookies again. We have to buy from all three of them individually. He won’t give us a raise but he expects us to give our money to his spoiled little brats. Why can’t the bastard just buy them all himself and give each of us a box instead? And, on top of that, we’re expected to pitch in to buy his birthday and Christmas gifts. What do we get? A piece of cake!
$ How much is that painting you gave us for our wedding worth now? Do you mind if I sell it? We want to buy something expensive that we’ll only use once and then donate it.
$ Bachelorette party: $150; travel: $400; bridal shower & gift: $175; travel: $400; bridesmaid dress: $200; shoes and accessories: $185; salon: $100; travel: $490; hotel: $160; your wedding: a small fortune! Congratulations! Enjoy your three-week honeymoon in Paris! I’ll be home using my credit card statement as a blanket.
$ You don’t have to pay me back. We’re friends! I know I told him he didn’t have to pay me back but I didn’t think he actually wouldn’t. What a dick!
$ I don’t need your money!
$ I just gave you money!
$ Sorry I can’t pay my share of the rent again. The Giants lost. Blame them.
$ Since we’re brothers-in-law now, how about giving me a raise at the office.
$ Oops! I forgot my wallet again. I’ll pay you back this time!