Congratulations, Earth! You survived running another circle around the sun. I guess that's a good thing. Of course it is! Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading this ridiculous email. You're welcome!

Had the Earth failed though, we could've been hurled into the sun and roasted like nuts, which would be a double whammy for those of you with nut allergies, or we'd freeze to death in deep space like a frozen pizza, which would suck for those of you with dairy issues - unless it was a cheese-less pizza, which isn't really a pizza but more of a flat bread with hipster toppings, such as kale.

Personally, I think it's an abomination to cook any leafy greens. If they were meant to be cooked they would grow in a pot or some other cooking device. I know what you're thinking: "But Warren, they don't grow in a salad bowl either, so your theory is stupid." Shut your spinach-hole! You're missing the point.

My point is this: It's 3rd Friday! Yada, yada, yada. 6-9pm at Golden Belt. Kale-free hipsters are welcome, but the jury is still out on hippies. Stay tuned.

But wait, there's more!

I'm thrilled to be included in the new exhibition at Light: Art + Design along with Jeff Bell, Kiki Farish, Heather Gordon and Sallie White. The opening reception is Friday 22nd from 6pm-9pm. It's a beautiful gallery with amazing artists.You better come to the opening or something might something something or another. Just kidding. Only something. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you?

With thoughts of nut-covered pizzas smothered in cheese,

Warren

Holy Crap! This post is long! (Pretty pictures below.)

It's November already?! It feels like October was only last month instead of July being 4 months ago and next February being 3 months away. Who came up with this calendar anyway? I have a cunning plan to slow the passage of time. Bear with me - you'll thank me later.

We eliminate 11 months and only keep one. I vote for April since it only has 30 days and the weather doesn't suck as much. With January gone, there wouldn't be a New Year's Day to remind us of what we didn't accomplish last year. It will always be this year, so there's plenty of time for your ridiculous resolutions. Goodbye guilt!

"But, what about the holidays, Warren?" Stupid question! They all get moved to April, silly - except New Years. No more waiting 12 months between them. Now, every year we would only age 30 days and you would only get one stupid email from me per year. I know that would make all three of you very happy. I'm bound to lose a couple of you after this one. You're welcome! All in favor?

Speaking of stupid calendars, it's 47th Friday! For those of you terrified of large numbers, it's 3rd Friday!

Pay attention, people! The following could get a little confusing for the weak of thought:

Heather Gordon and I will be at the Durham Arts Council from 5-8 pm Friday - kissing hands and shaking babies during the reception for our Folding Light exhibition. Come for the free booze and pretend you're looking at the art. That's what most people do anyway. You can read about the show in this week's Indy Week. It's online if you're prone to paper cuts. The show ends a week from this Saturday (11/28/15).

We'll both head back to our studios at Golden Belt afterwards - 8:15ish? My studio/bar will remain open well beyond 9pm to continue the celebration! FAIR WARNING: my studio will look like crap unless I decide to clean it up. I give it a 50/50 chance. I did shave off all my facial hair for the first time in years. That could be worth seeing, if you hate art. Who doesn't?!

SunTrust Gallery hours: M-Sa 9 am-9 pm / Sun 1-6 pm

See the show now or be seen not seeing it. I'd hate to see that happen.

Cheers!
Warren